I can't believe I'm posting this

Don't you remember those girls in highschool that would save their poo till they got home everyday? Fuck that- I've never been one of those afraid to poo in public bathrooms types, heck I've even pooed in a port-o-potty (hovering, of course- it was a great mini workout) But I believe that there are certain ettiquettes that one must follow during this ever so private, and sometimes sensual moment.

When I enter a bathroom knowing I have to poo, I wait patiently until the bathroom is pretty much cleared out, usually masking my stakeout with a redo of my ponytail or a no reason handwash (which coincidentally I never do AFTER pooing, (just kidding, of course))

When the time is right and I'm ready to do it, I pinch out a quick one and flush 2-5 times throughout the process. (waste of water-possibly, save of embarrassment-definitely!) I exit quickly as to avoid any late bathroom enterers, wiping the push tears away from my eyes and ACTION-all smiles out the door.

Well today, this lady went into the stall next to mine whilst I was waiting patiently for my movement to come. After a few moments passed with no peeing sounds, tampon opening sounds, an old pad being ripped off sounds, or puking noises, I started to freak out a little.

I knew this bitch was gonna poo. I started thinking that maybe she was waiting for me to leave so she could go. There were no sounds from her stall- she was holding everything! I wasn't done yet! But god knows I couldn't go anymore with her right there...hovering on my every sound, waiting for that flush followed by a few steps to the door, mirror check pause and then finally that sound of the bathroom door swinging closed when she would unleash her sweet release. It was just too much pressure, so I left, totally unpoosified (unsatisfied with poo just thrown in there)

Basically I left the bathroom thinking she was really rude. I was clearly already there and starting. You can't go to the stall right next to someone and totally intimidate them out of thier poo, by just rudely doing yours. This isn't NAM!

If it was me, after realizing the bathroom was already claimed, I would have pretended to do something in there, perhaps a fake line of coke, and then just left. There's a bathroom every 15 steps at this school! Who just sits next to someone pooing and poos? Someone perhaps from the trailor park by Venture? Clearly not of good raising, different, poorer, worse. (hommage to Will)

Well, my poo went dormant and I know the rest is gonna hit me when I'm in class. Oh well, none of these tweens care about a non-traditional hag like myself anyways. I guess I'll just have to fart a lot while sitting next to the dirty kid- wait I am the dirty kid. Shit! (seriously, no pun intended)