bored, bloated, broke

I hate my life today. Main reason- I'm bloated. Yep, my day will be RUINED because of it. How does something as lame as an overinflated gut cause one to crab for the entire day. On top of that, I really want a cigarette and there's only a pack of Basics hanging around the store. A few weeks ago I broke down and smoked one- did cut off half of the 2 inch filter before I smoked it. I had the craziest cigarette buzz of my life. It was disgusting.

I'm just in a really bad mood. I have to find a new job. This store gives me about 8 hours and I can only bear to do 2 shifts a week at Bacino's. I was considering getting bartender certified over christmas break. I seriously should do that. I would wear a choker and tons of eye makeup and my boobs would be so pushed up that they would fold into my body. Okay, I'm totally doing that.

If I did bartend I would totally want to learn how to dance while I shake martinis so I look really cool. Wouldn't be hard.

I hope this day gets better because right now I'm considering drowning myself in the toilet. Either that or asphyxiate myself while masturbating.