Ummmm

So I'm an idiot. I posted the name of the bar that I (used to) work at on my blog. Someone googled it and found my blog. Now all 10 people that work there know about my blog. I need to stop saying my blog.

If anyone cares to review, I wrote some negative comments about my boss starting around the 25th of November. He read it and when I called to see what time I should come in today he told me that I need to fix it or find a new job. Well, I took the name of the bar off my posts but I really don't want to work there anymore because I think it will be a little awkward. Please check the comments as well, because there are some angry anonymous posts.

Upside- I don't have to work all night on Friday and Saturday and I may not have to work on New Year's Eve. I do have to find a new job though. Hopefully that doesn't take too long. I don't really care. I didn't publish anything that isn't the truth dammit! I know that I can get a job at Dominick's.

MRRY XMAS

My hasn't this year gone quickly. I can not count
Every time I had blog
Rage, but I know it was a lot. We all know I
Really have issues with it, and
Yes, I've posted things that I myself was offended by, but a wise blogger once told me that

Censorship is a regrettable thing in a blog.
Hell, who cares who's offended, as long as it
Rises some laughs. My true friends understand when
I joke this way, and those who don't should fuck a dead baby!
Some of the blogs I've read
This year
Made me shit my pants
And some sucked
Sorta like this one.

Here's some holiday jokes:

What's purple, covered in puss, and squels?
A peeled baby in a bag of salt

What does a baby and a Pinto have in common?
They're fun to ride until they die.

What's worse than a having sex with a dead baby?
Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades.

What is red and creeps up your leg?
A homesick abortion.

What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life?
You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter

Merry Cross-mas whores!

Yay for quitters!

It makes me so happy to know there are others out there struggling like I am. I will miss the glamour of it all though. Maybe I'll start doing coke. Coke is really glamorous. If I can't afford it, I'll just crush up Tylenol and show it to people. I'll carry a mirror and razor with me at all times and pretend to be really fucked up after snorting a line. I'll pretend to be on a coke binge and hook up with really questionable people and not use a condom. That sounds sexy, coke makes me sexy.

On the glamour note- smoking is not glamorous. After quitting you start to notice how there are very few people who can make smoking look attractive. They have to be gorgeous, rich or foreign. Yes Maura, Asian counts as foreign, but Asians don't look attractive smoking- unless it's German pole. Those huge German cocks look great inside of those tiny little Asian mouths. And a bonus, money shots (maura's favorite) come with very little chance of optical damage. There's just no space for the man cream to get in there! (That's for trying to read my blog while I was typing.)

Speaking of Maura....
I got to hear a concert that she and her sister put on for retards today. They were obsessed! It was really cute. The one that set next to me kept telling me that she could sing that well. Sh-sh-she w-w-was fif-fifty t-t-t-t-t-t-two. Ahhh, retards. They really make non-retarded people smile.

I whine too much

Now I guess bartending isn't all that bad, as long as I can get a weekend off here and there- we'll see if that happens. The money is better than at Bacino's, but I have to be there longer. I just want to get some bartending experience so that when I move downtown I can get a job at a really cool club and meet tons of overly brow-manicured douchebaguettes.

And yes, I can drink while I work, but then I get cranky and lazy. I want to sit at the bar not stand behind it and make shit for people. I think I'm comfortable enough to start ignoring people who don't tip well and making their drinks really weak, and put too much sour mix in them. Ha Ha Ha glory will be mine!