I hate my life

I really do. I know it will change and hopefully get better but right now I hate it. I'm already sick of bartending. Not the job- the fucking hours. I have to work until 2am every friday and saturday. I feel like I'm in 8th grade again when all weekends sucked because I had to go stay at my dad's and miss out on all the fun.

Also, I am so sick of this semester. It's cutting into my mediocre weekday social life. There are other things that aren't going too well either but I don't think I should bloggerize them. I guess I just feel sorry for myself right now and thought I'd share that with all of you, all 3-5 of you.

This is what happens when you drink wine alone doing homework while everyone else is out enjoying life together.

BLACK WEDNESDAY!

I had never heard of this term for the night before Thanksgiving but I guess that's what the cool people call it. Point of me saying this- all you city (and suburb) whores should come to Sandbar Wednesday night. I'll make you a mediocre drink not for free...

I just recently found out that I'll always be bartending when I'm there. Downfall- working to 2am every friday and saturday night. Upfall- I'm making double the money in half the time and I can dress slutty if I want! I don't even have to mention the shitload of extra cash I'm making letting drunk guys finger me in the handicapped stall. One dollar per finger per minute per hole.

I wore what I thought was a cute outfit on Friday. Fitted black T-shirt, cute black pants, red belt, cute earrings, makeup, hair. My boss told me I looked like a security guard. Okay this isn't Zero Gravity's juice bar. I'm not wearing silver low-cut acrylic tops. (should I have used commas?) I have cute things I could wear, if I was just standing or sitting, but I have to move around a lot and I don't want to risk a Tara Reid style boob incident.

I see a lot people I know too. I wonder if they think that bartending in Brookfield is my career. I just wish I could wear a sign that reads STILL IN SCHOOL. If people asked I would say that I'm working on my Master's at UIC, even though I'm working on my Associate's at COD. Ouch.

I've been clean for almost a week

I quit smoking on MOnday and I haven't cheated once! It's nice. I don't feel dirty and smelly, like all you smokers. I can't wait to be able to trash talk smokers until I start smoking again and get mad when people shit talk my shit talking. I really don't think that's gonna happen though.

So let's see... I had my first night at that bar/restaurant. I got to train behind the bar and it was awesome. I'm obsessed with bartending. As a waitress you're the bitch. When bartending, people kiss your ass because they know you can screw them over, unless they're drinking beer.

Boring post- this is why I haven't been posting a lot. I don't have anything to write about besides how shitty this post is.

"It's really- uh, smart don't you think. You know that black is this years pink"
$2 to anyone who knows what that is from.

New Jobby

And I don't mean techniques for blowing

I quit Bacino's. Yay!! I fucking hate that hell hole. It is hands down the shittiest place I have ever worked, besides when I was a funeral makeup artist for babies who had died in the microwave. I did get a lot of free food/wine though. The funeral parlor only gave me free fermaldehyde to dip my cigarettes in. What a buzz.

My new job's at this bar/restaurant called in the fairest field of all, Brookfield. The owner is a CREEP though. Since I go there twice a week he felt the liberty to tell me that he was masturbating in his car one morning eating pancakes while I was setting up the outside tables at Bacino's. Ummm, Thanks?

He is a pig. My "interview" consisted of him rambling about nothing that had to do with the job and blatently staring at my tits several times. Afterwards I was having a drink with Dacia and he wouldn't stop talking about all these women that have been obsessed with him. Wow- that must mean he's really good in bed. Right.

Well, I guess there's only one thing I should do before my first day tomorrow and that's to let him dead horse me after I "pass out" at the bar. God do I love faking sleep for rape.

bored, bloated, broke

I hate my life today. Main reason- I'm bloated. Yep, my day will be RUINED because of it. How does something as lame as an overinflated gut cause one to crab for the entire day. On top of that, I really want a cigarette and there's only a pack of Basics hanging around the store. A few weeks ago I broke down and smoked one- did cut off half of the 2 inch filter before I smoked it. I had the craziest cigarette buzz of my life. It was disgusting.

I'm just in a really bad mood. I have to find a new job. This store gives me about 8 hours and I can only bear to do 2 shifts a week at Bacino's. I was considering getting bartender certified over christmas break. I seriously should do that. I would wear a choker and tons of eye makeup and my boobs would be so pushed up that they would fold into my body. Okay, I'm totally doing that.

If I did bartend I would totally want to learn how to dance while I shake martinis so I look really cool. Wouldn't be hard.

I hope this day gets better because right now I'm considering drowning myself in the toilet. Either that or asphyxiate myself while masturbating.